Just Ten Minutes

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Just ten minutes! Please!

Waking abruptly, I’m bewildered by the light spilling through the window. What time is it, I wonder, looking past Joe to the clock on the nightstand.

Nine o’clock! He’ll be late for school!

Tossing on my robe, I hurry to Tommy’s room.

Once there, I pause, watching particles of dust dancing in sunlight. Above the bed, a grim Luke Skywalker stares at me.

Mom, please let me sleep ten more minutes…

“Jean?” Behind me, Joe looks confused.

“I heard something…”

“Oh, Jean,” he says, eyes sad.

Gently pulling me away, he closes the door behind us.

© 2015 All Rights Reserved Kate Loveton, Odyssey of a Novice Writer

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Note: Written in response to the ‘100 Word Challenge for Grown Ups’ sponsored by Julia’s Place (found here). This week’s prompt was to use the phrase ‘please let me sleep’ in a story consisting of 100 words or less.

About Kate Loveton

Aspiring novelist. Avid reader of fiction. Reviewer of books. By day, my undercover identity is that of meek, mild-mannered legal assistant, Kate Loveton, working in the confines of a stuffy corporate law office; by night, however, I'm a super hero: Kate Loveton, Aspiring Novelist and Spinner of Tales. My favorite words are 'Once upon a time... ' Won't you join me on my journey as I attempt to turn a hobby into something more?
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39 Responses to Just Ten Minutes

  1. Wow. Just wow.

    Stunning ❤

  2. Seems wrong to ‘like’ this but very powerful words.

  3. Margaret says:

    Painfully sad, but beautifully written.

  4. Loretta says:

    Don’t know what more to add, except well done!

  5. The words not said speak louder then the rest. Wow, Kate. Powerful ❤ ❤ ❤

  6. stacilys says:

    Like derrick, I had to read this twice. Oh so sad, but written on so well Kate.
    🙂

  7. jan says:

    Wow. Very powerful. Great job!

  8. noelleg44 says:

    So wonderful and heat-breaking, I read it twice..

    • Kate Loveton says:

      Hi Noelle – thank you for the kind words! I struggled with the word count on this one. Unsure whether I had enough words to tell the story. I’m glad it made sense. 🙂

  9. Glynis Jolly says:

    How sad. Grief is so hard to take.

    • Kate Loveton says:

      I’m sure there are moments when people – for just a brief second or two – forget the tragedy they’ve endured. A brief moment of normalcy before sad reality takes over. Thanks for reading, Glynis.

  10. Hildegard | whphotoplus says:

    Well done! You have a knack to get at heart-strings.

  11. So sad…but nicely done, Kate!

  12. Once again, an unexpected ending. I do hope all this sadness comes from your imagination…

    • Kate Loveton says:

      Hi Keith. Fortunately, it does spring from my imagination. I try to step into the shoes of the characters. It must be a terrible, terrible thing to lose a child. Thanks for reading – I appreciate it. 🙂

  13. Nice! Missing a son that’s gone. Only ten minutes more with him….Cool.

  14. macjam47 says:

    Well done. Heart-breaking. Been there.

  15. Julia Lund says:

    Noooo …

    Beautifully, heart-breakingly done.

  16. Good one. I had to read it twice before I got it.

    • Kate Loveton says:

      One hundred words doesn’t leave much to work with… I had to hint a lot. I’m glad you got it in the end, Derrick, and I appreciate your kindness in reading and commenting on my work. 🙂

  17. wildbilbo says:

    Man, this one hurt.

    Nice work.
    KT

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