I’d just polished off my sixth Budweiser and was half-asleep when I felt someone plop down in the sand beside me – a beauty with sea-green eyes and white surfer girl hair that rippled like waves around her hips.
“Well, hello, beauty,” I said, staring into those mesmerizing eyes, “what’s your name and where the hell did you suddenly come from?”
“The name is Lorelei and I’ve just walked out of the sea.”
“Sure you did, baby,” I grinned, “and your old man’s name is Neptune, right?”
“I see you know my family,” I think I heard her say, but I can’t be sure; I was too busy staring at the webbing between her toes.
© 2015 All Rights Reserved Kate Loveton, Odyssey of a Novice Writer
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Note: Story written in response to “Lillie McFerrin Writes” and her five-sentence fiction challenge (found here). This week’s challenge is to write a story utilizing the word “waves” in just five sentences.
Still chuckling 🙂
Nice work. KT
Glad I made you chuckle! I admit, I was chuckling while writing it. 😀
Just one word, “Perfect.”
Hi Margaret – thank you! I’m so glad you enjoyed it. 🙂
Another great piece of writing, Kate! 🙂 ❤
I love the line about the beer too, such a man thing to get 'beer goggles'! 😆
Thanks, Heather. I think he should cut back to… um… three beers in the future! 😀
You can never have enough beer. IMHO…. 🙂
It’s the little things… 🙂
Yep! 😀
My style is different and I prefer yours but that is the second time you wrote an alternative version of something I wrote. The first line of chapter one begins with me alluding to a mermaid at the door.
Really? We are on the same wavelength, huh? 😀
T.S. Eliot heard mermaids singing… without benefit of Budweiser.
Cute! 🙂
Hi ya, Rachel! Glad you enjoyed!
Only six Budweisers to make a guy this bleary? Ha ha. This story in five sentences takes the cake… er takes center stage. Love it! ❤ ❤ ❤
Now, Tess… Budweiser doesn’t have half the alcohol content of one good glass of wine, does it? So you and I, wine lovers that we are, will laugh at this poor fellow’s inability to hold his Bud.
He sees mermaids after several beers. After several glasses of wine, everyone looks like George Clooney to me. That can be a very dangerous thing! 😀 😀 (Just kidding, Mr. Loveton, in case you’re reading!!)
Good point, Kate. Many years ago, I recall being in Florida on vacation. Can you believe the weather was cold and useless for exploring. My main squeeze and I ended up in a bar all afternoon; he caught up on some ballgame on the television there and me bored. I must have had four Buds and felt no different than if I’d been drinking colored water– well I do believe I didn’t feel blue anymore. 😀 😀
I want to know the rest of the story now 🙂
Me too. 😀
Me, too! 😀
I think the webbed toes probably turned him off; reminded him of Donald Duck… or Daisy.
Fantastic!
Thanks, Michelle!
And the only thing that saved him was his love of music. Lorelei couldn’t hold a candle to Alison Krauss and so she left him be, and he became, “the one that got away” – for now. Be careful with that minor deity, Eugene, she’ll be back……..
Hi there! I am so happy you picked up on the name ‘Lorelei’ – with an extra 100 words, perhaps I could have made this a more musical tale!
Do mermaids sing? T.S. Eliot seemed to think so.
In my mind this tale ends with Lorelei – now “Lurleen” fresh from study at Nashville, luring our fisherman to his doom with a flat-out killer version of Walkin’ after Midnight.
Yeah, a little Patsy Cline would do the trick!
Men and their beer goggles. Loved it Kate!
😀 Glad you got a chuckle out of it, Jill!
Ah – a foot fetishist! But why did Lorelei come out of the sea just there, just then. And why did she choose him. And what are her plans?
😀 😀
He’ll have a few good stories for the boys back at the pub… about the one that got away!
Leave it to a guy! A beautiful woman shows interest in him and all he sees is her webbed feet! Great job!
I love that comment, Jan!
Geez, men are so picky, aren’t they? A little webbing between the toes and they can’t hear a word you say…
Glad you enjoyed. 🙂
Ha! Made me laugh too! You certainly have a great imagination!
Thanks, Deb! Happy that it gave you a laugh or two. 🙂
This gave me my smile for the day – filtered by the beer!
Ha! 😀 😀
It was fun to write! This one came to me when I was taking a walk during my lunch hour. I could just see this guy laying in the sand, a few beers too many in the heat, when this gorgeous creature comes up to him and says she’s from the sea…
Beer makes everything believable to the imbiber and nothing to the observer.
Terrific story.
Thanks, Shari! Excellent comment!