The Electrifying Dorinda


The first time I met Dorinda she was appearing in Phineas Todd’s Circus of Wonders, sporting an electric crown and tresses that danced like flames about her beautiful face. She was breathtaking, my electrified Dorinda, charming the rubes; charming me as well, and for a good ten years we loved.

Then Stefano, that damned sword-swallowing lothario, joined the show, and one foggy night I followed my traitorous Dorinda behind the big tent and listened to the eager, frenzied sound of a sword being swallowed…

That’s when my beauties paid a surprise visit to the trailer of the two-timing Dorinda, who went to her grave covered in deadly kisses.

My name is Say-ed, the Arabian Snake Charmer, and this is my story.

Β© 2015 All Rights Reserved Kate Loveton, Odyssey of a Novice Writer



Note: Written in response to Lillie McFerrin’s “Five Sentence Fiction” (found here). This week’s challenge is to write a story in five sentences utilizing the word “flames.”

About Kate Loveton

Aspiring novelist. Avid reader of fiction. Reviewer of books. By day, my undercover identity is that of meek, mild-mannered legal assistant, Kate Loveton, working in the confines of a stuffy corporate law office; by night, however, I'm a super hero: Kate Loveton, Aspiring Novelist and Spinner of Tales. My favorite words are 'Once upon a time... ' Won't you join me on my journey as I attempt to turn a hobby into something more?
This entry was posted in My Fiction and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

34 Responses to The Electrifying Dorinda

  1. Scarlet Embers says:

    I love this on so many levels! Kudos.

  2. stacilys says:

    Very very good Kate. I love your short stories. You really should have a book.

  3. I have to admit that the ‘sound of a sword being swallowed’ line made me laugh out loud in the middle of a public dining area! πŸ™‚

    Delicious tale of passion and revenge. Remind me never to date a snake charmer! πŸ™‚

    ❀ ❀ ❀

  4. I will just simply say I love it, and leave it at that. πŸ˜€

  5. markbialczak says:

    Oh, you wicked, wicked Kate Loveton! That’s a packed five sentences of revenge, my friend.

  6. wildbilbo says:

    Hahaha! “…the eager, frenzied sound of a sword being swallowed…” I honestly lol’ed πŸ™‚
    Great use of imagery here too – you say she’s kissed to death before revealing he’s the snake charmer – very effective.

    Not too weird at all πŸ™‚

    • Kate Loveton says:

      I have to admit, I was lol’ing when I wrote that line!

      Glad you liked the imagery; I tried to save the bit about being a snake charmer for last purposely.

      Happy you enjoyed it. πŸ™‚

  7. Glynis Jolly says:

    You’re a marvel, Kate.

  8. Sushree Dash says:’s such an wonderful tale in just five sentences πŸ™‚

  9. Mandy Moore says:

    Loved this from beginning to end but a verbal “oh wow” came out of me at the ending, I loved it!

  10. Superb. Another masterclass.

  11. Very upsetting first thing in the morning

  12. This is a wonderful story! Forked kisses!

  13. Oh my – sly behavior.

    • Kate Loveton says:

      Hmm… I always think of snakes as sly creatures. An Arabian snake charmer would have to be sly to have such animals in his command! Thanks for reading, Shari. πŸ™‚

  14. noelleg44 says:

    Clever, clever Kate!

  15. jan says:

    Yikes! A cautionary tale for the girlfriends of snake charmers, hey? Especially those who can’t resist “frenzied sound of a sword being swallowed.” Lust under the big top!

    • Kate Loveton says:

      Jan, you have to wonder who would want to hang out with a Snake Charmer, don’t you? Makes my skin crawl to think about it! As for the sword swallowing, I couldn’t resist… πŸ˜€

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s