Weekend Coffee Share: Pleasure in the Little Things

Coffee

It’s Sunday night and, admittedly, I’m getting to Nerd in the Brain’s ‘Weekend Coffee Share’  (here)  little late. I hope a newcomer can be forgiven.

So, gentle readers, how was your weekend? Mine was rather nice – a mix of happiness and nostalgia.

FridayI’m never really sure where the weekends go. Friday night is always full of promise: On Saturday and Sunday, I’m going to work on my short stories; I’m going to publish a new flash fiction on my blog; I’m going to actually update my blog to make sure you all haven’t forgotten me! Added to that are dreams of cleaning out closets, getting the laundry done, spending time with the people I love, and also having an hour or two for quiet contemplation. And, lest I forget, an hour each day for my exercise routine.

Come Saturday morning, the mad rush to get everything accomplished commences. Before I know it, it is Sunday night and I’m laying out the clothes for my return to work on Monday morning, packing lunch, and making a to-do list of all the things I need to accomplish as soon as I arrive at the office on Monday.

Ah, Friday night! You beautiful dreamer! You are always full of unfulfilled promise. Perhaps that is why I love you so – you give off the tantalizing aroma of possibility, even if never completely fulfilled.

Some of the things I did manage to accomplish this weekend:

I actually did fit in my hour long walks. Kudos to me! I have been fairly good the past few months, walking daily (even while on vacation) and fitting in a workout with weights three times a week. I find I feel much happier (oh, you lovely endorphins!) and energized when I work out – although I must admit I have to force myself to begin. I am not a lover of exercise. No, I am a lover of sitting on the sofa with a large mug of coffee and a good book in hand.

Speaking of books, I have been reading about the Duchess of Windsor, Wallis Warfield DuchessSimpson, formerly of Baltimore. Those of you who are history buffs will recall that Wallis is the infamous divorcee for whom the King of England (Edward VIII) gave up his throne because he could not govern ‘without the woman I love at my side.’

Having grown up in Baltimore, it is quite interesting to reflect that this famous lady lived on streets whose names I am familiar with and went to school at Oldfields in Baltimore County – I work perhaps fifteen minutes from that venerable institution.

What sparked my interest in the Duke and Duchess of Windsor is my immense enjoyment of the Netflix series about Queen Elizabeth II titled ‘The Crown.’ I’m impressed with the quality of this series. As one who has read extensively about the Royal Family, I find it does not stray too far from truth.

I am an Anglophile, I proudly admit it! My love and admiration for England has no bounds.

And speaking of England, that leads me to the next enjoyable part of my weekend. I skyped with my friend, Belinda, who resides ‘on the other side of the pond,’ as they say. I am quite taken with her charming English accent and try to mimic it. Alas, I always end up

Belinda

When Belinda visited me in August 2015. My favorite photo of two very good friends.

sounding like Dick Van Dyke in ‘Mary Poppins,’ which causes her to make merry at my expense. She, on the other hand, thinks all Americans sound like Dolly Parton or someone from the Bronx. She has yet to master a Mid-Atlantic accent. We shall work on that when she comes to visit my husband and me at the end of April. To say that I am excited about her pending visit is an understatement.

I mentioned there was a bit of nostalgia this weekend as well.

I visited with my mother who is now in an assisted living facility. My mother suffers from dementia. Her long-term memory is quite sharp, but her short-term memory is very bad.

This morning I stopped at Dunkin’ Donuts and bought her some Bavarian Crème munchkins, her favorites. She ate one and then set the small bag aside. Five minutes later, she glanced at it and said, ‘Oh, look! Donuts! Did you bring those?’

My husband visits my mom on Wednesdays. She tells me she hasn’t seen him in months. My sister visits at least once a week, yet my mother always asks me if I’ve seen her, saying she hasn’t in a long time. As for me, I think she forgets I was there as soon as I leave.

It’s very hard to no longer be able to talk with my mother in a meaningful way. I miss being able to tell her things, knowing she always understood and took my part. She is my mother – and yet, she is not. Now, the simplest conversation is hard for her to follow, poor lady.

In addition to the dementia, she is profoundly deaf. Her hearing aids no longer allow her to hear conversations well. My sister came up with the brilliant idea of getting a white board for her room, and now my mother will read the white board and we can ‘converse’ with her. She is happier, less frustrated. So are we.

Mom

My beautiful mother, all of 20 years old, my handsome dad – and me!

I wrote on the board today about a few stories I am working on, fictional takes from experiences from our past. I’m not sure how much of it got through to her, but she smiled when I wrote to her about her own mother. That made me smile, too.

Today, before I left, I wrote on her whiteboard that I loved her and drew a big heart and wished her a good week. I then hung it next to her chair. Perhaps she will remember that I visited when she looks at the message. I hope so.

As any woman will understand, when you need a lift, you go shopping! Today I managed to snag a pair of very expensive, dressy black flats at 50% off the retail price. I was quite happy and anticipate wearing them at my next dressy event.

Sunday ended with my sweet husband and I going to Primanti Brothers for dinner. He had one of their killer sandwiches (huge!) and I had a small Chicken Caesar Salad flat bread (yum). I love going out with my husband. We take trivia cards with us and quiz one another on our knowledge. Since we tend to be bar eaters, invariably other patrons at the bar will join in on the fun. I am pretty good at trivia. I have a mind that holds a lot of useless information.

When I think about my mom, I realize how quickly life flies by. All those Friday night dreams of what I hope to accomplish don’t mean nearly half as much as the moments I spend with my husband, my mom, my sister and my friends. Life is made up of moments. It’s good to savor the sweet and gentle ones. They are fleeting – and for that reason, precious.

Thanks for letting me bend your ear for a while. I’ve enjoyed it. Now my coffee is quite cold, so I’ll say good night. Have a lovely week, my friends – and make sure to spend a good portion of it with those you love.

© 2017 All Rights Reserved Kate Loveton, Odyssey of a Novice Writer

About Kate Loveton

Aspiring novelist. Avid reader of fiction. Reviewer of books. By day, my undercover identity is that of meek, mild-mannered legal assistant, Kate Loveton, working in the confines of a stuffy corporate law office; by night, however, I'm a super hero: Kate Loveton, Aspiring Novelist and Spinner of Tales. My favorite words are 'Once upon a time... ' Won't you join me on my journey as I attempt to turn a hobby into something more?
This entry was posted in #Weekend Coffee Share, About Me, Family, Friendship, Love, My Life, Sisters. Bookmark the permalink.

12 Responses to Weekend Coffee Share: Pleasure in the Little Things

  1. Annika Perry says:

    Glad I’m not the only one who feels the weekends rush by in a haze of ‘doing’. I love your statement of: ‘Ah, Friday night! You beautiful dreamer! You are always full of unfulfilled promise. Perhaps that is why I love you so – you give off the tantalizing aroma of possibility, even if never completely fulfilled.’ How true and brilliantly written!😀

    So sorry to hear about your mother, you write of her with such love and tenderness and I hope it is of some comfort knowing the warm care and many visits she is receiving. She looks so sweet with you in the photograph, just a kid herself! I second to treasuring those moments with family and friends…something I’ve been doing a lot of recently.❤️

    • Kate Loveton says:

      Oh, Annika, I Loved your comments! I try to share memories with my mom, but have mixed success with that. Still, I am learning to be thankful for the small things – a smile or a chuckle.

      Thank you, my friend, for lovely comments!

  2. Pamela Morse says:

    My parents both had dementia, but different kinds. It is a strange journey , but one that will reward you with insight in the end. Good luck with it.

  3. Julia Lund says:

    What a whirlwind weekend, but filled with the people you love. Life can change in the blink of an eye, and it is indeed the time spent with loved ones that are the most precious. Hope you have a great week.

    • Kate Loveton says:

      Hi Julia! I have things to share with you, but my week goes by so quickly that I never seem to get the opportunity. I am going on a women’s retreat, and I think it is something you would be interested in hearing about!

      Thank you for your lovely comments. Life does indeed go by so quickly. I think of all the years I spent scurrying about, trying to accomplish so much. Now, I wonder, what was the point? And did I neglect the most important things? It is a sobering thought.

  4. Belinda P says:

    What a touching post, Kate! ❤

    I am very much looking forward to flying out to visit with you in just over a month's time and I know we will make many more memories in the weeks we are together!

    Sharron is right, you are a good daughter to your mother, dementia is often harder on the people who care for the person with the condition, rather than the person themself, especially in the latter stages of the disease.

    It was so great to Skype with you this weekend and I am so excited that in a few short weeks we will be able to chat to our hearts content in the same room and same timezone! ❤

    • Kate Loveton says:

      My dearest friend, I cannot wait until Mr. Loveton and I get to see you in person again! Our excitement is beyond words. What fun we shall have – and we shall talk and laugh ourselves senseless, all in the same time zone!

      Thank you for always being my biggest supporter. Words cannot convey how much your support means to me – but I suspect you know already! 💜

      • Belinda P says:

        I love you too, Mrs Loveton and am eagerly counting down the days until I fly out to see you again! Not long now! ❤

  5. Kate, my mother has Alzheimer’s and also lives in an assisted living residence for people with memory loss. Unfortunately my mother has no memory at all, short or long term. I find it so hard to imagine a life with no ability to recall any of the people you’ve loved, the adventures and experiences that gave your life meaning and joy. She cannot plan anything, either to make plans for herself or to look forward to a visit from someone or a moment of celebration. She lives in the exact present moment and it’s always gone in an instant. I remind her of who her children and grandchildren are, about my dad, where she used to live and the things she loved doing. Every memory I try to weld into her brain is gone in a flash.The one thing she can remember is cross word solutions, at least sometimes. She and I do crossword puzzles together and she’ll get between 4 and 18 answers right in a puzzle with 160 clues. I figure that’s a decent proportion. Then I write a silly message on the top of the puzzle and make her read it out loud, to keep her one skill, reading, intact. One more little victory against this memory thief. Hugs to you and your mom – you’re a good daughter, Kate.

    • Kate Loveton says:

      Ah, Sharon, my heart goes out to you! It is a tough thing to not have your mother totally be ‘there’ when you see her. I miss being able to tell my mom things. Even if I didn’t always agree with her take on things, she was my mom, and it was supremely comforting to know that she took my side and listened to me.

      My mom was a great mother – she sacrificed a lot for my sister and I. I would get exasperated with her at times because I saw things differently, and because I often felt she let others push her around. She was flawed (like me!!). She drove me crazy!

      But I love her and I miss her.

      I sympathize with you and feel your sorrow. Hang in there, my friend. What else can we do? 💜

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